Women’s empowerment is intertwined with respect for human rights..

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I am writing this post today, because I feel we are responsible to fail humanity.

When I was growing up and used to hear stories from people and olden times, I always felt that, oh, that was then! Not anymore!!!

“I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.” ~ William Golding

But even today when I hear women treated like an object whether it’s in under developed country or a developed country – the story of women is in bizarre!

The male dominating society is creeping in like a weed everywhere and they just use women in whatever way they want to and just dump it and don’t even feel ashamed of their deeds. I mean will they be doing the same way with their mother and daughter too? I am assuming that those two relationships they might be holding too close to their heart so can their in humanness be justified if they think from that point?

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I had met this young, courageous woman sometimes back and even I didn’t realize if I had any role to play in inspiring her. But recently I heard some happiness entering in her lonely life where she would get a company in life and a father figure for her teenage son. I mean when you’re meeting a single mother and/or single father, there’s certain expectation that even as a society people would expect.

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The lady Rose was finally happy that her life which had a very bad and traumatic marriage life with her first one. She had lost hope and faith with the men’s world when she found this guy Jordan, who has a grown-up son too. He meets them, take them home and fulfills the ceremony of engagement and then he ends up to his friend with who’s instruction he wouldn’t do anything. And this person who is supposed to be the friend of Jordan suggests him to dump the girl as you can get many women to sleep with so why you need to marry one?

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What an evil thought? If this is how the mind works then imagine how he might be looking at women in his surroundings whether its his work place, community and social gathering events, his kid’s school or for that say his wife’s women friends? I mean such a filthy guy he would be that I felt as a woman he should be exposed so that we don’t want another #MeToo moment to come in any women’s life.

“A stare, a proximity, a smile, a touch-oddly familiar. He knows you wouldn’t speak, he knows you don’t understand enough to speak; Me too!” ~ Nipunya Panda

Jordan one day sends message on text saying he is breaking up with her. Poor thing Rose, who has no clue why he is breaking up? What she did that she is being punished except that she knows the previous day he went for a hike with his so-called friend.

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I have only thing to say to Rose, which is tough for her to handle because she loved Jordan and her son also loved him. Poor kid is going through counseling and therapy sessions as he is still not able to digest why Mom is crying, why Jordan will never come to our home?

“Her innocence, to him, was that sexual toy which he broke many times and every time fixed it with chocolates and ice-cream.” ~ notypriyanka

Rose, someone tried to play with your wings and while doing that they tried to break your wings. Hence, you’re bruised but I will say get well soon and be thankful that you’re not ending up like Jordan’s previous wives who have either divorced him or have embraced death as by suicide. You need to be there for your son and that too a strong one so that your son can learn too that this world is full of horrible men and he needs to change that face by being a gentleman!

“Educate a man and you educate an individual. Educate a woman and you educate a family.” ~ A. Cripps

I feel it’s a good riddance in this form for Rose that she didn’t have to lose her life, her son and her hard-earned money and house. Sometimes awakening happens in different ways and experiences.

Women have to unite to make sure men don’t miss use innocent women and just don’t disrespect when they are vulnerable.

~ Dawn

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There is no certainty; there is only adventure ;)

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While growing up I never thought I will leave the place which I call as home and hence the thought of blind date with the world is something not even came in my dream.

But as I started going to college and started reading things the curiosity bug bit me too. I often thought of just going to some place and keep traveling because at the end of the day what do you need – something to eat, a safe place to sleep and stay and then keep moving.

“The biggest  adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams” ~ Oprah Winfrey

I had many times discussed this with my school friends about dreaming of living in a place in a small hut where in the backside of the hut we have some vegetable garden with veggies and in front of the house are the hot springs where we cook most of our food and eat and sleep under the sky gazing stars and my Moon.

I know dreams are so beautiful and when someone says go live your dream – that’s really an action which once taken then you’re on your own.

I also took such a blind date with the world and it was in the year of 1997 when I took a one-way ticket to Toronto, Canada. I had gone through the process of immigration where I got my Permanent Residential visa and I headed to this blind date with Canada where I have no friends and/or family. I will share the journey which now I look back and feel good about taking that blind date with Canada because it changes my whole perspective about how I look at world now.

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.” ~ Jawaharlal Nehru

I remember I had only clothes in my suitcase as I had heard its very cold in Canada and so I landed in the month of April assuming it will be spring and may not be cold. Surprisingly, it was still snowing that year and I had my mixed feelings towards that. It’s beautiful how nature itself deals with all these seasonal changes and how people adapt to it too.

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My journey was a struggle in the beginning because when you land at any place which is not your home, you start your bill from that moment. Not only that, there’s a strangeness in the beginning and also cultural shocks which makes you to be more cautious. I somehow made use of the newspaper ads which helped me to get the rental basement space for me even though the job was still far from me. I have met many people during this struggle time and to be frank only Indians took advantage of my situation. Others, they offered help without expecting anything in return. I am not sure if I should call that out but that’s one of the experiences which happened not once but number of times.

People tried to convert me to Christianity, so they can get money from their institution and to me they suggested we will help you with the job, which was totally incorrect, and I am glad I didn’t fall for it. One thing I knew that there are no free lunches so some of the proverbs that I learnt in school did actually help me from not making mistakes.

“Life is an adventure, it’s not a package tour.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

But then in all this, you tend to find yourself safe in the custody of your race and people and that’s what lead me to suffer. The moment I freed my mind from that, I felt a relief and freedom from all tie-ups, taboos and everything. It’s all about your mind believe me. I decided to move out of renting in someone’s house and went to rent a one-bedroom apartment where I had my freedom and independence to live. It not only gave me my space, but it also taught me how to not look to lean all the time.

I found a small job as a part-time cashier with minimum wage, but again it was the mind which said this is not what you came here for and so I decided in 4 months I need to move on from here. And believe me sometimes you go to make your decision from your mind and not heart, because only then you can do things that your heart wants.

One after the other jobs and finally I ended up in a Bank and it completely changed my life, from an HR field to technology field the merge was amazing, and the transition was such that I figured out my actual interest which is people and technology that enables people to do things. I guess the blend of this helped me to move from one company to the other and one place to the other, and now I am in California, USA.

I think we should all blind date with the world, so we understand people and life better. Sitting in a comfort zone can make anyone do anything that they feel is right but actual life is in traveling and understanding the life of different people. So, I love this blind date which made me to marry to traveling :).

It’s true that blind date is not always about happy ending, because many ups and downs are there which occurred in my life too because of meeting wrong people at the wrong time and place but the better lesson you learn and move out from there. Because life always gives you another chance and that’s up to us to see and grab it.

“Life experience is what defines our character, even if it means getting your heart broken or being lied to. You know, you need the downs to appreciate the ups. Going on the adventure or taking that risk is important.” ~ Nev Schulman

As I was getting comfortable with my date in Toronto, I decided to do another blind date with San Francisco, in California USA. Let me tell you, it was not a very happy one. I feel when there is a change, it does bring some turbulence, but one got to hold on to it and stay strong that’s what I did. Initial days I didn’t like US. It was something like I started comparing between Canada and USA. Everything I related it that way, whether its people, place, behavior or even the process in banking etc. I realized I was missing Canada very much because it was my first blind date with whom I fell in love, so the first love is always there as special in my heart. I guess no one will understand that because that journey I had taken alone and every corner of the place, city, people have made an impact on me. It is difficult to not be connected with a place where I started from scratch and built my home finally.

Over the period, I went back to visit and be at every place that I lived in, walked around and worked around and after that when I came back to California it was kind of be at peace.

“Life would be pretty boring if I didn’t explore. It’s about letting my ears take me on an adventure to soak in everything I can.” ~ Trombone Shorty

I would like to go for another blind date and I am just going to go for that soon!

~ Dawn

Swamiye Sharamanamaiyyappa !!!

This blog is based on the verdict of what Supreme Court has declared on Sabarimala, where they are allowing women of all age to enter the Sabarimala temple.

 

Those who don’t know Sabarimala can read here and understand about the story of Ayappan and his devotees and believers.

I have a personal connection with Ayyappa and the whole nine yards because I used to go with my Dad to all puja’s and temple visits during those 42 days… ! I remember singing bhajans of Ayyappa during those puja’s such as – Thedi varum kannugalil – which even my North India school teacher’s were fan of and I have sang those during my school assembly as well!!!

So, I have a story too and its very close to my heart. When I say heart, its because it involves my Dad who is a big Ayyappan bhakt and I can vouch how deeply he is spiritual with Ayyappan. My dad Meladathe Chandrasekhan Nair who started worshiping Lord Ayyappan at the age of 12 – very young and today he is 83 years old but he went to Sabarimala for 42 years and walked the sabarimala 42 years from Erumelli to see his Lord Ayyappan’s darshanam (visit). Imagine when he started this at the age of 12, being his daughter how I am connected to all of this. Every devotee who completes 18 years of visit to temple will plant a coconut tree there at Sabarimala and my Dad has planted two of them.

Even before my birth my Dad named me Usha -Ushas and I can see all this is related to Ayyappan because he used to often talk about Usha (Dawn) puja, Uccha (afternoon) puja and Vaighuneram (evening) puja.
Every year my Dad used to take leave/PTO from his work to go to Sabarimala after completing his 42 days strict vritham, when he was bachelor I am sure he could and after his marriage still he did follow and went every year. I remember as a kid I used to see my Mom used to go and stay at my friend’s house and after that she used to come when her menstrual cycle was completed. But my Dad never shy away from his social responsibilities even though he was a Guru swamy who used to take lot of kanni swamies with him to Sabarimala. Being a husband and father of his two children he fully did his duties. He used to take four times bath but he used to make sure he dropped his wife to her office while she was in her menstrual phase and he took care of dropping his daughter to school and rest besides doing puja’s in the Ayyappan temple in Uttamnagar, Pune India. He is a devotee and he would do anything in the name of Lord Ayyappa. He earned things to build a temple for Ayyappan in Uttamnagar, Pune Maharashtra instead of building a house for his family. A very true and faithful human being, I am not saying because he is my father but that’s how I have known him from outside people.

There were landlords/sarpanch’s who have given free land to my Dad to build house but my Dad used that land to build Ayyappan temple. His philosophy is if there’s a will there’s a way and so if there’s a way for his family to have their house they will have. He never believed in things that he got as a gift or bribe, belongs to him – he always said this is not hard earned by my effort so it will not stay with me for long so he used to donate that money which they used to get from their boss to the worker’s canteen and every worker used to enjoy the samosa and tea that day.

An honest man, a believer and family man. I am very proud of my Dad for who he is, a very logical and rationale.

In fact I have been to Sabarimala at the age of 9 when I was in 4th grade. I went to Sabarimala by keeping the vritham (42 days) and then went with my maternal Grandma and cousins. I will tell you I still remember it was a hardship being myself a sports person it was touch climbing those mountains and walking continuously before it gets dark and finally rest in a tent that night. Early morning 4 am you get up to take shower in the Pampa river and then walk to the path of darshan of Lord Ayyappa.
I have been there and done that and after that I have more respect for my Dad because it is hardship and only a true dedicated person would take that effort.

My Dad went till he was 79 and then we as kids being selfish stopped him because we don’t want him to be pushed around during stampede and he probably understood our love and dilemma. But what I want to say is religion, belief is all about individuality and personal choices.
I know my Dad, who is very strict about Ayyappan and the vritham that one must follow. I remember there was one Shekharan uncle who was in Military and came to Dad to go to Sabarimala and my Dad did the puja and he wore the mala to go to Sabarimala but guess what he did drink in between those 42 days of vritham when he was not supposed to. He lied to my Dad but somehow some guilt that it came out and he apologized to my Dad. I remember there were many such stories and it was real not a myth.
Many Maharashtrians have faith and they did follow the rules and went with my Dad to Sabarimala and they came back and been to a Ayyappa bhakt in Uttamnagar.
All this is good, and now we hear about the verdict where Supreme court says women can go to Sabarimala irrespective of what age they are. I hear many debates on this who are in favor of this verdict and those who are not.

I am a believer and I feel that one should have freedom to do what they want that doesn’t hurt anyone. I never was religious and I know even today I have my sentiments because of my parents. I will respect what they believe in but over the period of my personal experience I am an agnostic and strong believer in humanity as my religion.

People should have freedom to worship or not to worship. It should be their personal choice.

After this verdict was out, I was listening and reading about this but I had my Dad behind my mind all the time. As I see lot of debates and arguments and discussions on the social media. All this and then I thought of my Dad.

Whenever I felt a doubt, I have always gone to my Dad to ask because I think he is a person who thinks rationally and would give his unbiased response after that he won’t tell me what I should do.
So today, I asked my Dad what is his thoughts on the verdict.

His response: “I don’t agree supreme court’s decision about women’s entry to sabarimala temple. Those who believe in sabarimala ayyappa swami they will not enter the temple when they are in the age-group of 10 – 50.”

I responded back to him with love saying, Swami Sharanam and he responded back – Ayyappa Saranam,!
I totally agree, its all about one’s belief system.

If you really believe in God which ever God you will have your faith in that and hence you will follow the rules as supposed to those who don’t believe will not take the effort to do anything.

It’s all in the belief system. Now those who don’t believe and still want to prove something will go and visit ….? Not sure what they are trying to prove!!!

I know that in other parts of the world wherever Ayyappa temple is there women go and worship and there is no restriction so what is this all about?

Is this specific about Sabarimala? Then women who are okay to take that hike during their menstrual period is totally their personal discretion I believe unless there is a separate agenda.

Still, I believe this should not cause any issues to those who believe in Ayyappa dharma sashtav.

Because at the end its about one’s own belief. Those who believe will follow the rules and those who won’t will not take the effort to do anything.

Being an agnostic, I will say let’s live and let others live peacefully, as long as you don’t discriminate between human being all is well and peaceful!

Swamiye Saranamayyiappa !

~ Dawn

You know my name, not my story. You have heard what I have done, not what I have been through!

These days I am in a conflict with mind and heart. Yes, heart would like to talk a lot with the paper which means, I would love to express my thoughts and emotions but then mind tries to manipulate – Why, unnecessarily? Let it be…keep it with you!!!

My heart, which started writing as kid because I felt my pen as my heart was spelling and sharing my views with the pages of the diary that my Dad gave it to me. That was my way to open my heart which gave me the satisfaction of expressing everything and anything and yet I have the feeling of keeping it private from everyone.

Time changed and I started blogging. One should change with time isn’t it? Moreover the way I groomed myself as a kid of 7-8 years old is by writing down everything which made my heart and mind feel very relieved, it is a way for me to relax and be calming.

I remember I used to tell my friends, ‘not to take tension but give it to others’, as a joke!

Few things that came to my mind which I felt I should write so that I get the feel that I shared it and it is out of my system!

1. Judging a person does not define who they are… It defines who you are!

If someone wants to do something for others, it’s their emotions and feelings that they share with – no one has a right to call that out by names. Because every individual has different ways to express their love and respect so be mindful when you pass your judgemental remarks. It let others to think who you are!!! Never discourage others what they want to do if they share it with you that’s because they consider you as a friend and trust you. Don’t discourage them by judging them it tells about you and not them.

2. Everyone is a Moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody!

People sometimes due to overconfidence behave in certain way and go too far but when they find themselves in trouble and unable to cope-up with they ask for help. Now, helping is good and when you do that with all good intentions and still if things doesn’t work out or help other to understand then it is better to show them the mirror. The person who actually came asking you for help changes immediately when they feel they’re exposed and makes the helper a fool in front of others and moves on as a hero. The helper looks like a fool!
When the helper confronts the one who came asking for help at the first place, they say he was my childhood friend and I didn’t want to lose his friendship! That’s the justification they give for their act.

One can imagine what they would do to get away with their ego and false image! Here they did this because they know the childhood friend will stop talking and will spread the rumor among all the common friends and the helper will always be there as they will not lose them – a false assumption!
I think the helper should have left them alone to deal with their problem instead of getting involved because the helper is a stranger to the childhood friend and company! One should live life on their on terms and not get involved in other’s because at the end everyone is an individual let them lead it.

3.  It’s funny how most people become who they promised they would never be!

When people desire something in life, they make all kinds of promises that they are the best and they are this and that and you trust them and get into the contract which binds you with them and establishes a relationship. Through out you have found that they are not what they promised they are instead they only act in front of you that way.
When Kamala made a mistake and she was caught it became a life-long reminder for her and hence even when she wants to say anything she is restricted because she will be pointed out of her mistakes. But I believe this doesn’t allow other party to keep making mistakes. Whether you smoke or drink is not the question. The question is did you not promise not to and still you continue as hide-and-seek and finally you come out saying this is how it is – the person can’t do anything other than thinking let them do what they want to do, why you want to attach yourself to get hurt?
Lesson is not to trust anyone with anything after all you’re human and with time you will change and you will get tired of wearing a mask all the time! You will have to come out one day so might as well be now than later!!!

4. It takes guts and humility to admit the mistakes. Admitting we’re wrong is courage, not weakness!

I believe we are human and hence we do make mistakes and that is okay. Even when you read the Indian mythological stories in Ramayana, there also Ram is portrayed as the best human being still he behaves disrespectfully with his wife Sita based on what he over heard from his laundry guy, who was hitting his wife saying I am not like our King Ram who accepted his wife even though she was living captivity with another king Ravan. Ram could have set things straight by supporting his wife and by bringing awareness to his people that being captured doesn’t mean you disown your people but he didn’t do that, instead he did what he felt his people in the kingdom would appreciate – the question is, if it was Ram and Sita had to decide will she even think of disowning him? I doubt because women are raised always with the thought that Men can do anything and it’s okay but Women are like a white cloth even a little stain would make it look ugly and hence throw it away!
Mistakes are okay and accepting the mistakes saying, yes I cheated and that is wrong on my part and I am ready to accept any punishment for that. It’s humbling and learning experience for anyone though it is hurtful in heart forever for everyone. Similarly, if other person has done a mistake in indulging with something and dealing with until it became a problem for them to handle then at least one should have the guts to accept that they did that mistake. In fact, they call out other people’s wrong deed and shine themselves. A little sunshine in your eyes can blind your eyesight for a moment, watch out everyone doesn’t have to be that high and famous all time, even the Sun who is so powerful with its heat and light has to set at the end of the day – you’re human and be the one that you preach to all!

This time the trip to India gave some time to read some useful books which enlightens your thought process through mythological stories. And relating it with the present situations, stories and scenarios it helped to understand that, life is simple and one need to keep it light and simple!

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new”

~ Dawn

A Bart ride one afternoon…!

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This afternoon for some reason instead of taking Uber I decided to take Bart.

When you are not used to public transport for long time, it can freak you out. I was making sure I am getting into the right train and then when I did get into one, I made sure I am sitting at a seat which is near the door and was constantly looking at the window to check which station it is.

“Time goes faster the more hollow it is. Lives with no meaning go straight past you, like trains that don’t stop at your station.” ~ Carlos Ruiz Zafon

I had been a heavy user of public transport when I was in Toronto, Canada and to tell you the truth I enjoyed it even though the initial radar of alertness was always there about your surroundings but that I don’t look at as inexperience. I rather feel one should be cautious about their surroundings always.

“You can’t understand a city without using its public transportation system.” ~ Erol Ozan

Bart, I always have heard negative things whether it’s about the issues with the riders or with the train itself. All these thoughts were going through my mind but being positive as my habit I enjoyed the ride. Few people were getting off as their destination arrived and the train was getting empty or rather it was getting more spacious.

I saw three kids – I can say because there was a boy who could be of 4- 5 years old and he was being referred as Chris. Chris was getting bored and restless and one can see that because the other two people (boy and a girl) who looked as if they are a couple but very young may be around 18-19 years old and I don’t know their names. Chris was so restless that he started lying down on the seat and later on the floor of the train and I wondered why he is doing like that and how come the couple doesn’t say anything to him.

As I was thinking about it, the girl started calling him, Chris, get up why are you being like this? And the boy had no response.

After long time Chris got up and sat on the seat and I was in between busy looking at the name of the station as the train stopped.

“The easiest way to meet people is to just look like someone who is willing to listen” ~ Robert Brault

The girl who was sitting with her boyfriend, looking at me she said, Ma’am are you a therapist by any chance?

I looked at her and smiled and said, ‘Why? You need help for Chris?

She smiled back at me as if nodding yes!

I looked at Chris who was turning his back to me and looking at his mother (by now I heard the conversation where she said you are not listening to your mom).

In a friendly way, I said – Chris, want to be my friend? Give me hi-five!

The mother or the girl as I referred above, said Chris see the lady wants to be your friend. At this, Chris got shy and he started hiding his face.

By that time the boy who was sitting next to Chris’s mother said, why you taking help from strangers?

The girl/mother replied, well you’re not helping me either, so I asked for help at least it will keep him away from misbehaving.

It just took me to think, teenage lovers and probably became mother and all these responsibilities. I felt bad for Chris, because he needed someone who can understand him and probably spend time with him.

“Sometimes the greatest adventure is simply a conversation.” ~ Amadeus Wolfe

I wish I could do something, but I cannot. As the train stopped at my destination, I got up from my seat and waved at Chris, saying Bye Chris, take care.

The mother/girl, immediately asked Chris to say – bye! He was still shy and instead the mother said – Bye lady and you have a great day and thank you!

I smiled back waving at her saying you too!

I reached home and shared the story with my daughter because she is 19 years old and I shared how I felt for that girl and her child.

Sometimes, kids are not kids anymore and those who are kids they don’t get to be kids anymore!!! ~ Dawn

~ Dawn

The wounded recognized the wounded!

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Living in the city can be so different than from the remote villages, one can never imagine.

There is no electricity in the house at night, oil lamps made of brass is used and nature at such times is so quiet and dark that one can only be speechless. The cricket noise and sometimes you will hear the noise in the grass which could be of a snake who is finding its way to you.

All that is scary and adventurous especially when you are visiting during school vacation.

“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in” ~ Robert Orben

The little girl Asha, who is only 5-6 years old is scared of all these creatures be it snake, insects because some of these ones she has never seen in the city and the variety of spiders you get to see in the rain-forest areas, and their names are more or less the knowledge that she takes from here to her school to share with her friends.

Life in the middle of greenery can be happy until one morning she saw some rashes on her hand. It looked like a rash on the skin which if broken can spill the water and be infectious. She ran to show this to her mom.

Asha: Mom, look …look what happened here? Its red and I feel like itching, but I am scared.

Mom looks at it and talks to her sister (Aunt) Leena.

When Aunt Leena looks at it her immediate reaction –  oh this is spider poison. This is easy to cure once we show her to the village spider physician who practices Ayurveda medicine.

Mom is not much impressed as she doesn’t know if that will help Asha.

However, they plan to take her to the spider related issues treating physician.

Asha along with Aunt Leena goes to see the Ayurveda physician.

The physician of course was an elderly person with grey hair, unshaven slight gray beard with aged grayish eyes, skinny staring at Asha. Asha got scared at first and she hesitated to be in front of him, so she stayed behind her Aunt Leena.

Aunt Leena gave the details and pulled Asha with her hand to show the rashes.

The physician holds the hand and checks with holding his glasses and says yes this is spider bite and I can give her some medicine for which she needs to take shower and come in a towel. This seemed like Ayurveda with some magic.

Asha was scared and whispered to her aunt, ‘you also come I am scared to go alone’!

Aunt Leena said, ‘you should be fine he is going to treat you and give medicine’.

Now, Asha goes to this place where it’s all covered with coconut leaves as a shed and she goes in there with a towel wrapped and finds this physician is waiting for her.

Asha as always cautious and nervous in front of strangers, sat there as the physician asked her to do so. He started chanting some mantras and as he was chanting his hands were touching Asha on her head, shoulder and then her stomach and below when Asha got uncomfortable and started crying to raise her voice enough to be heard, because at this time she feels she is all alone.

The physician gives a stern look at Asha with his grey eyes and splashes some water and then lets her go.

“One believes things because one has been conditioned to believe them” ~ Aldous Huxley

Asha is all scared and comes home with her aunt Leena and the moment she gets in the house she runs to her mom and holds her and starts crying.

Asha’s mom asks what happened, what did the physician say?

By now Asha stops crying and tells everything in detail that happened to her.

Asha’s mom gets furious, and she goes out of the room scolding her elder sister Leena,

“Is this how they treat here? I thought he is a respectable man in the community and this is how he treats small kids?”

Aunt Leena when she heard the story, got so angry that she straight went to the physician immediately without thinking for a second time and broke that treatment shed and called off his son to stop this business. She yelled at them saying, “I will let everyone know in this village what you do and how you treat people”.

By saying that she broke the shed and walked out of the place.

That was the day and the spider treating physician’s business was never seen or heard ever. After that incident his shop was closed forever. Asha felt that spider is less scary than the physician. She still can see his face and that picture of the shed where she was sitting and the physician sitting in front of her staring in to her eyes.

“Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.” ~ Dave Pelzer

We always respect people who are elderly and hence people wouldn’t talk openly about such molestation and abuse that might be still happening around the world. It’s still a taboo and many places it’s the elderly age that inhibits to expose them because they fear what other might say or think about them.

“She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she re encounters the trauma” ~ Judith Lewis Herman

We should be able to share things with our near and dear ones otherwise there is no use of calling loved ones anymore.

If loved ones are the one who are taking these kids, then they need to be extra careful no matter how well you know the person.

Protect your kids from these vicious animals because this puts a life-long impact in the minds of these children who are molested, the spider bite can always be cured but the mental trauma is something that keeps haunting.

“If the sound of happy children is grating on your ears, I don’t think it’s the children who need to be adjusted.” ~ Stefan Molyneux

~ Dawn

They should tell you when you’re born: have a suitcase heart, be ready to travel…

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This morning I read Shweta Nanda’s article on empty nest. I applaud her to acknowledge something like this and not shy away because of the celebrity status quo.

Some of her call outs in the article made me think that may be for homemakers sometimes it’s more difficult than the women who have career outside. Homemakers focus, and dedication is all around the home and associated with it and hence when kids go away the void is bigger than what the working women can feel and that is because working women share some space with outside world whether it be with work and with colleagues and friends.

“You will never achieve what you are capable of if you’re too attached to things you’re supposed to let go of.”

Homemakers have to start from the scratch and that itself is a change which could be challenging, one can feel that more in the article.

I also read in her article about “life is flawed, there is no such thing as a soulmate and nothing lasts forever is so empowering.”

This statement made me a bit sad or should I say I still want to believe there is something called soulmate and yes when nest is empty one can plan life with their soulmate, it could be traveling, a peaceful walk/hike or even spending time together doing similar tastes of hobbies. But given that kids have gone and now your partner is also not there then definitely its individual choice that one needs to make and for a working woman she may have many options by choosing a job which gives more travel opportunity or travel to different country and work there as long as you want to stay there and move on to next and so on.

But yes, when you hear nothing lasts forever that kind of gives you freedom and hence it is empowering.

“We have nothing that is really our own; we hold everything as a loan.” ~ Nicolas Poussin

All this tells me is process for detachment and this doesn’t have to be until the kids leaves the nest. It can start early by teaching your kids to be independent early enough to manage their own things with parental guidance.

I often think of those moments where kids will go away, and my heart should not cry or depend on them. Of course, as a mother you will always care for the well-being of your children but when children have left then we should allow them to lead their life the way they want as by now we have raised an adult who will make the decision that is appropriate for them at least.

Basically, it ends up with a task completion of raising kids and let them fly and we move on with another task which should be nourish yourself that gives more happiness and contentment in life.

“If you depend on others to make your dream come true, it may not ever happen.” ~ Dawn

~ Dawn