Time moves in one direction and —> memory in another <—

I had this opportunity to watch Tamil movie – 96 and much thanks to my hubby who actually put up a review about this movie and that’s when came to know about the existence of this movie.

This is a story about school-time crush and how we move on in life and that crush still remains in your heart but they never get together in life, at least in this movie its like that.
The movie is good and what I liked about it is that in this the crush or love is from both sides and hence the loss of being together in life is sensed more and as an audience you feel sorry for them because no matter how many years have gone, at the reunion the love or crush is still at the highest intensity and yet they go back to their lives respecting what they have committed for.
This movie actually brought lot of my school-time memories and hence I want to write this post in remembering all those boys who had a crush on me and some I don’t even know at that time and some I came to know later in life when they got connected with me on social media.
Actually, I never had any crush or love in school or college time. But I do remember one which came in as a proposal in life later and I came to know very late about it.

“Some memories are unforgettable, remaining ever vivid and heartwarming!” ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

This was when I was in 10th grade and I was visiting my Grandma from my Mom’s side. I remember I used to be more hanging out with my Aunt, who used to visit her friend’s place who was a widow with two boys. One was way older and the other seemed like in college or high-school. The boy I will call here as Madhu, who would silently gaze at me when I used to visit their house with my Aunt and he would never utter a word with me but would talk to my Aunt. I used to be a shy and scary as I used to find it a bit awkward visiting from different state to this one.

The visits were more and so I happened to meet Madhu more often and his stare would make me a bit awkward and I used to ask my Aunt about Madhu. Slowly things started getting in such a way that when I am at my front door at my Aunt’s place or my Uncle’s place he could see me through his front deck, that’s the house was close.
I remember once I was walking down the road with my cousin and he waited for me till evening until I returned home.
He used to sometimes follow us when I am going with my Aunt and used to engage my Aunt in talks. As much praise I have heard from my Aunt about him, that much I felt good about him as he was serious about his studies and he is sincere and well behaved.. all this only made me think of him as a good person.
That vacation went by quick and I remember the last day he ran after my Aunt asking about us, if we have left and my Aunt said they will be leaving tomorrow morning and he just came up with some excuse to come to our home. He was there for long time staring at me and I was kind of smiling as I think I felt that he will miss us.

“Time flies, but memories last forever.”

Things moved on and after couple of years when I came back again on vacation, I didn’t see him at all. I got curious and I asked my Aunt about Madhu and she said oh, he joined Army so he is not here in town. That made me miss him but I felt good that he is focused on his career and life.
Time was flying like a kite, I got busy with my high-school and then college and so forth. On my every visit I used to ask my Aunt about Madhu and I used to get news that he was tired of Army life and he escaped from there and so now cops are looking for him. I used to worry, now what? And my Aunt would say they will take him back and he will be completing his Army training as one shouldn’t be running away from the training.
I used to worry and think about it when I used to visit my Grandma’s place but when I used to come back to my home the usual life kicked in and I got busy with my life.
Dating concept was not something that we had and hence, there was nothing like that I could think of him or any other guy during that time. Anyway, I got busy with life and after many years I went back to visit my Aunt with my 4 year old daughter.
This was the time when I was asking about all the people that I have known since my childhood and my Aunt would give me all the updates about the neighboring people and I brought his name…where’s Madhu? How is he doing? Did he go back to Army? What is he doing?

“Good times become good memories and bad time become good lessons..”

The answer that I got from my Aunt was painful and shocking too. My Aunt said, they left this place as they sold their property and moved to a different place. His elder brother is married and he lives somewhere close by but Madhu had come here with his mother to ask for marriage with your parents. This was something I initially couldn’t believe. Because, even though I thought he liked me when we used to see each other during my visits, but I never thought that he was so serious about me. I got curious and asked, when did they meet my parents?
My Aunt said, during the time when your Mom and Dad were visiting here and you were busy with college, during that time they visited here and said their son Madhu likes their daughter and would like to marry with everyone’s blessings. I was shocked but was sad and it was a mixed emotion.
I said and?
Aunt said, your Dad said we don’t intend our daughter to get married to an Army guy. And even if we do want to then we don’t want to send our daughter to this place.

I was completely shocked and felt like a Bollywood movie where the girl’s father is always playing the villain role. All I could imagine in my mind was Madhu’s Mom because she was a very respectful woman in the area and she had raised her two sons without her husband. She was well educated and was working in a good government establishment. I was really feeling sad. I looked at my Aunt and said, is this real? How come then no one said anything about this till date?

“Sometimes I just wish that I could fast forward time, just to see if it’s all worth it in the end.”

My Aunt looked at me and said, well he loved you since school time and I even asked him that have you ever talked to her and his answer was – no!
But he loved you and he thought when the right time comes he would ask your parents permission as he felt you are not the kind of girl who would love and write love letters and continue the relationship..!

That incident made me feel very sad and I feel for Madhu even though it was not love from my side, but the sincerity of him killed my ego. I don’t know if meeting with him and talking to him could give a closure to this but …this has left me with those painful moments yet when I walk through the memory lanes, the moments of visiting his home, his stare, he bringing stuff at home for me and all those opportunities where he wouldn’t miss to see me, even if it was a glance… have tickled my heart at the same time.

I feel life is full of surprises and yet you never know who would come to rescue when you are in need… it could be someone from your past life… or someone new?

“The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you”

~ Dawn

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Be happy and live happy…!

nutrition

A poetry for the Nutrition month of the year for Hyde Park Poetry @ Thursday poets rally.

Life can be dramatic,
Weather can be tragic,
News can traumatize,
What can you do at times?
People can be mean,
A character or disdain,
Its in everyone’s gene,
What can you do?
The world may torn apart,
Your ways can go apart,
Think one thing in life,
Nature also rejuvenates,
After every stormy night,
Eat healthy, sleep well,
Nourish your soul,
Nourish your body,
Regain your strength,
Empower your life,
Add one ingredient,
Need good nutrition,
To lead your life,
The healthy you are,
Most wealthy you are,
To face this world,
Gain your inner strength,
Feed your life,
Be happy and live happy,
Until you die 😉
~ Dawn

Romancing my Moon!

mooneclipse
Picture Courtesy: Archana Singh

My craze for my moon, yes I can call him as ‘my moon’ because it’s been long time since I have been loving him. The journey started from the small window of the jeep, bus, truck, you name it and it was through eyes that we both used to glance at each other. In the beginning it felt as if we are trying to know each other and at times he made me feel that it’s only me who is there for him. Yes, it was him who made me feel that way otherwise, shouldn’t I shut the door and go to sleep at night like everyone else does?

 
After saying goodnight to him through my eyes when I used to go to my bed, through the window he would make sure I am tucked well and sleeping sound and he didn’t stop there. He slowly started walking into my dreams and look he has captured my heart fully. The days and nights that I used to think about him whether I was going to college in the bus or walking to the grocery store, a thought used to sneak in, ‘what if he just one day comes in front of me’?

“Love is when you look into someone’s eyes and see everything you need” 

The days have gone and years have passed but the passion and love has deep rooted inside that now I don’t feel that he is separate from me. He is mine and hence the closeness and my right on him. I think we have established that understanding between us because it’s our eye language through which we chat and express feelings to each other.
The night before eclipse, he was right in front of me as if just came up behind the mountain to see me. I was also fully excited to receive him with my eyes and started taking his picture. I told him I may not be getting up to watch you when you will be trying to please me in various ways. I didn’t even set an alarm. But whole night he kept me awake.

“If you have never lost your mind, then you have never followed your heart”

Like a zombie I was getting up each hour to see him and each time I saw him I took his picture. The whole night went by and early morning when I saw him filled with love in red I hugged him and slept in my bed. All that time I was whispering to him, about how he kept me follow him all night even though I didn’t plan to.
He was smiling and caressing me while saying that, this was all for you so how can you not be there when I am romancing you!

I believe he is there for me and one day I will see him 🙂

“Crazy love passes fast but the love of two crazies stays forever”

My love My Moon

~ Dawn