You know my name, not my story. You have heard what I have done, not what I have been through!

These days I am in a conflict with mind and heart. Yes, heart would like to talk a lot with the paper which means, I would love to express my thoughts and emotions but then mind tries to manipulate – Why, unnecessarily? Let it be…keep it with you!!!

My heart, which started writing as kid because I felt my pen as my heart was spelling and sharing my views with the pages of the diary that my Dad gave it to me. That was my way to open my heart which gave me the satisfaction of expressing everything and anything and yet I have the feeling of keeping it private from everyone.

Time changed and I started blogging. One should change with time isn’t it? Moreover the way I groomed myself as a kid of 7-8 years old is by writing down everything which made my heart and mind feel very relieved, it is a way for me to relax and be calming.

I remember I used to tell my friends, ‘not to take tension but give it to others’, as a joke!

Few things that came to my mind which I felt I should write so that I get the feel that I shared it and it is out of my system!

1. Judging a person does not define who they are… It defines who you are!

If someone wants to do something for others, it’s their emotions and feelings that they share with – no one has a right to call that out by names. Because every individual has different ways to express their love and respect so be mindful when you pass your judgemental remarks. It let others to think who you are!!! Never discourage others what they want to do if they share it with you that’s because they consider you as a friend and trust you. Don’t discourage them by judging them it tells about you and not them.

2. Everyone is a Moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody!

People sometimes due to overconfidence behave in certain way and go too far but when they find themselves in trouble and unable to cope-up with they ask for help. Now, helping is good and when you do that with all good intentions and still if things doesn’t work out or help other to understand then it is better to show them the mirror. The person who actually came asking you for help changes immediately when they feel they’re exposed and makes the helper a fool in front of others and moves on as a hero. The helper looks like a fool!
When the helper confronts the one who came asking for help at the first place, they say he was my childhood friend and I didn’t want to lose his friendship! That’s the justification they give for their act.

One can imagine what they would do to get away with their ego and false image! Here they did this because they know the childhood friend will stop talking and will spread the rumor among all the common friends and the helper will always be there as they will not lose them – a false assumption!
I think the helper should have left them alone to deal with their problem instead of getting involved because the helper is a stranger to the childhood friend and company! One should live life on their on terms and not get involved in other’s because at the end everyone is an individual let them lead it.

3.  It’s funny how most people become who they promised they would never be!

When people desire something in life, they make all kinds of promises that they are the best and they are this and that and you trust them and get into the contract which binds you with them and establishes a relationship. Through out you have found that they are not what they promised they are instead they only act in front of you that way.
When Kamala made a mistake and she was caught it became a life-long reminder for her and hence even when she wants to say anything she is restricted because she will be pointed out of her mistakes. But I believe this doesn’t allow other party to keep making mistakes. Whether you smoke or drink is not the question. The question is did you not promise not to and still you continue as hide-and-seek and finally you come out saying this is how it is – the person can’t do anything other than thinking let them do what they want to do, why you want to attach yourself to get hurt?
Lesson is not to trust anyone with anything after all you’re human and with time you will change and you will get tired of wearing a mask all the time! You will have to come out one day so might as well be now than later!!!

4. It takes guts and humility to admit the mistakes. Admitting we’re wrong is courage, not weakness!

I believe we are human and hence we do make mistakes and that is okay. Even when you read the Indian mythological stories in Ramayana, there also Ram is portrayed as the best human being still he behaves disrespectfully with his wife Sita based on what he over heard from his laundry guy, who was hitting his wife saying I am not like our King Ram who accepted his wife even though she was living captivity with another king Ravan. Ram could have set things straight by supporting his wife and by bringing awareness to his people that being captured doesn’t mean you disown your people but he didn’t do that, instead he did what he felt his people in the kingdom would appreciate – the question is, if it was Ram and Sita had to decide will she even think of disowning him? I doubt because women are raised always with the thought that Men can do anything and it’s okay but Women are like a white cloth even a little stain would make it look ugly and hence throw it away!
Mistakes are okay and accepting the mistakes saying, yes I cheated and that is wrong on my part and I am ready to accept any punishment for that. It’s humbling and learning experience for anyone though it is hurtful in heart forever for everyone. Similarly, if other person has done a mistake in indulging with something and dealing with until it became a problem for them to handle then at least one should have the guts to accept that they did that mistake. In fact, they call out other people’s wrong deed and shine themselves. A little sunshine in your eyes can blind your eyesight for a moment, watch out everyone doesn’t have to be that high and famous all time, even the Sun who is so powerful with its heat and light has to set at the end of the day – you’re human and be the one that you preach to all!

This time the trip to India gave some time to read some useful books which enlightens your thought process through mythological stories. And relating it with the present situations, stories and scenarios it helped to understand that, life is simple and one need to keep it light and simple!

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new”

~ Dawn

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They should tell you when you’re born: have a suitcase heart, be ready to travel…

WE_Empty_Nest_(5534080907)

This morning I read Shweta Nanda’s article on empty nest. I applaud her to acknowledge something like this and not shy away because of the celebrity status quo.

Some of her call outs in the article made me think that may be for homemakers sometimes it’s more difficult than the women who have career outside. Homemakers focus, and dedication is all around the home and associated with it and hence when kids go away the void is bigger than what the working women can feel and that is because working women share some space with outside world whether it be with work and with colleagues and friends.

“You will never achieve what you are capable of if you’re too attached to things you’re supposed to let go of.”

Homemakers have to start from the scratch and that itself is a change which could be challenging, one can feel that more in the article.

I also read in her article about “life is flawed, there is no such thing as a soulmate and nothing lasts forever is so empowering.”

This statement made me a bit sad or should I say I still want to believe there is something called soulmate and yes when nest is empty one can plan life with their soulmate, it could be traveling, a peaceful walk/hike or even spending time together doing similar tastes of hobbies. But given that kids have gone and now your partner is also not there then definitely its individual choice that one needs to make and for a working woman she may have many options by choosing a job which gives more travel opportunity or travel to different country and work there as long as you want to stay there and move on to next and so on.

But yes, when you hear nothing lasts forever that kind of gives you freedom and hence it is empowering.

“We have nothing that is really our own; we hold everything as a loan.” ~ Nicolas Poussin

All this tells me is process for detachment and this doesn’t have to be until the kids leaves the nest. It can start early by teaching your kids to be independent early enough to manage their own things with parental guidance.

I often think of those moments where kids will go away, and my heart should not cry or depend on them. Of course, as a mother you will always care for the well-being of your children but when children have left then we should allow them to lead their life the way they want as by now we have raised an adult who will make the decision that is appropriate for them at least.

Basically, it ends up with a task completion of raising kids and let them fly and we move on with another task which should be nourish yourself that gives more happiness and contentment in life.

“If you depend on others to make your dream come true, it may not ever happen.” ~ Dawn

~ Dawn

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone…!

It’s amazing to do reflection and I used to do this as a kid sitting on my study table. The table was a huge one and those days it was made of teak wood the expensive one. In front of the table was a window and I always used to get carried away by nature, sometimes clouds, sun rays, birds chirping or even the cat who is looking for its prey.

“We don’t learn by doing, we learn by reflecting on what we have done.”

The mind has no limitation and so does the heart, I always felt we are only guiding this body in one or the other way as if this mind and heart as a huge responsibility to carry them to their destination.
In this world if I relate then I feel we take them until they leave this body here and move to next journey after catching the flight called death ;).

Life should have changes, should have ripple effects or else it’s boring. That’s how I have felt. If there is nothing new then its not fun and probably that’s the reason when everything was good in India with my job, I felt that I need to take that one way ticket to an unknown destination. Today I feel good about that decision because that one step helped me to take many more such steps in life to keep going.

“Life is about trusting your feelings, taking chances, finding happiness, learning from the past, and realizing everything changes.”

We are responsible for our actions and I do believe if your heart agrees with your decision then its matter of mind to make sure things work as per the heart. I guess that’s what is my guiding principle. When heart is not happy then what the hell mind is going to do? The monotonous routine and I get bored with that.

“Change is the only constant in life ” ~ Heraclitus

Today as I am coming back after a farewell meet, I asked myself – do you feel that you took a quick decision to leave? do you think you had a smooth job and a continuation and you just dropped it? My heart without taking any time to think spontaneously said, I am happy that I have something new to look forward to. I did my best what I can give and if I don’t have anything more to give then it’s better to move on to somewhere else.

I need change and only I can bring that to myself hence a very timely decision I feel. No matter how old one gets its the craving for learning is what keeps you young and heck yeah I want to learn more and be young too :). As I said, mind and heart are the ones who don’t age. It’s the body that these heart and mind are carrying.

Time for a new journey with new sightseeing and adding new stories to life. I welcome this change in my life and embrace it with love.

“Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, know what’s even scarier? Regret.”

As I embark on my new journey, I am taking lot of lessons learned from my previous journey and going to miss the people to whom I touched and who have touched me as well.
This journey has taught me about so many things, about people, their emotions, their reactions, sometimes how people mix profession and personal life, and sometimes you just learn how things work and how things doesn’t work because we don’t think from heart.

I talk to my heart at times
It’s good to be happy and nice
But then there’s a place and time
When it hits the peak of love
You know it’s time to say goodbye
You good until you’re welcomed
Or else you get kicked sometimes

I think change is good, it brings happiness, new beginnings and hence it keeps it exciting.

Should all acquaintance be forgotten and never brought to mind?

“You can’t truly understand something until it happens to you. The meaning of life is discovered in the experience.”

~ Dawn

Even I can fly..!

20110911_df1_20110723_1021_018-022 mistle thrush taking off from wire along bridleway to north 1-5 of 5 (montage @7fps)(r+mb id@1024)

Before budding,

and during flowering,

Many transitions,

phases and emotions

processing through.

After flowering,

while withering,

petals falling with,

 fear of heights,

many emotions,

wrapped in mind,

gulping humiliation,

mental torture,

fear of ambiguity,

the discomfort coats

of life.

The time came,

from kneeling I stood up

threw away the coat,

of fear and discomfort,

didn’t let worry to reside in,

yet the freedom is far away,

but the very thought of it,

brings the sight of joy,

and feel the pain of kayak,

yet at the end of it,

Even I can fly,

Spreading my wings high.

~ Dawn

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile…!

Today is not a day of ‘Remembrance Day’ or ‘Veteran’s Day’ or even ‘Poppy Day’, yet we all agree that for soldiers who are day and night on the borders protecting us and letting us live peacefully is something we forget to thank everyday!

Being raised in National Defense Academy (NDA), Khadakwasla Pune, I feel extremely proud for the people who willingly decide to join the forces because of patriotism and in this they lose their life too. Yet, the craziness of patriotism takes them beyond death or any such fear. I have huge respect for them and when I say this my heart and eyes fills with tears out of love for them and their families.

“Born to fight, Trained to kill, Prepared to die, but never will!”

I too have family members who are in army such as my late uncle Narayanan Nair and now his son my cousin Abhilash Nair who has been posted at difficult areas and when I say difficult it is at the borders of Siachen where it’s piled with snow and due to the huge mountains even getting any help such as food and other grocery materials is difficult and takes months to reach. Sometimes it’s the weather and at times the firing is taking place and it’s not safe for the army to deliver food and water to these forces who are at the border keeping us safe.

Siachen Glaciers

“Soldiers sacrifice their life for their nation. It doesn’t mean that they don’t want to live”

I know my cousin had to go through difficult times in life at this young age, when his dad was not well. One can only imagine how tough one has to be to focus at the border and not think of your ailing dad. He used to apply for leave and it used to get rejected because of the duty that he was in.
I am sure my cousin had gone through times when he must have felt like to leave the job and be at his father’s service but then there’s always that bigger service we end up with when it comes to your country and its people.

Kargil Area

It was tough for him when he used to get notified by his family that dad is at his last stage and then some miracle would happen and he would get discharged from hospital. He did take leave and come and spent time with his ailing dad. But in going through all this pain he didn’t lose his focus and dedication towards his work and he did a great job. He was returning back to work from his leave and only to hear that his Dad has left this world. It pained me as he was my uncle and I can only imagine what he must have been going through. That’s the life of a soldier no matter what happens at home your duty is to serve and he did a good job on that.

My Cousin Receiving ‘Best Soldier’ award

It was such a proud moment to hear that he was awarded “Best Soldier in Kargil Brigade“.
It’s not easy when one hears that they son or relatives or anyone to that matter is posted in Kargil specially after the 1999 Kargil War where lot of people died from both sides. It’s a sad feeling. Yet my cousin went there and did his job fearlessly with all dedication. I salute him !!!!

“Appreciation goes a long way as a motivator”

I am sure his dad is not here in this world but he is watching him from far and blessing him.

May my uncle rest in peace and my cousin keep rocking !!!

“Life is about creating your own happiness and before you know it, blessings of love will find their way into your heart” ~ Brigitte Nicole

Jai Hind!!!

~ Dawn

Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters…!

Have you ever come across a moment where you are desperate and wish for things to work in your favor? Yes, I had that moment today.
And I would like to share one of the experience here with my readers.

This was in the 1997 year when I newly migrated in Toronto, Canada. As part of an immigrant I went through the initial struggle and that time I got a job of a Cashier in a Swiss Restaurant which was part time on minimum wage.
This is that time when I was struggling to meet the ends as the moment you land you have bills to pay for your stay, phone, grocery etc. I remember no matter what but I always made sure the rent money is secured and available in my bank account because I was worried about two things here, first insufficient funds fine those days was $25 and that insufficient could be .50 cents or a $1 but the fine is straight $25 out of your account. Second, if I am late on my rent I won’t have a roof on top of my head.
When you are alone in a country and nowhere to go then its really tough because you can’t even go to anyone asking for help in need.

“The trouble is, you think you have time” ~ Buddha

It was one of those moments when I was short of $5.00 in my account for the rent cheque to clear. And I was literally worried because I know the date when the rent would go from my account and there was no salary or deposit that was going to go into my bank account. I was literally panicking because something like this has never happened but this time I had to purchase the bus pass and $84.00 was used to for the monthly bus pass and probably that caused all this. But those days banking experience that I had in Canada was really different than what I used to have in India. I never had to pay a service charge to my bank for keeping my money. It was considered as a favor that I chose them to save my money. Hence $5.00 service charge was something that might have done this, but anyhow I was short of $5.00 for my rent cheque to clear and I was calling all kinds of Gods if they ever existed or I was begging the Time to be on my side and believe me I was asking for that help from my heart and without knowing who would understand my sad situation because I am praying and requesting in my mind and heart.

“If you don’t believe in miracles, perhaps you’ve forgotten you are one”

People do believe in miracle and yes, I also somehow believe in that. As I was stressing inside my heart and mind that ‘if there’s a God or supernatural powers then you should help me, look at my situation’!
And in few seconds or minutes I heard the mail slit on the door of apartments where postman slips in your mails, a sound came and I ran towards the door.

I saw an envelope near the door and quickly opened it to see and guess what? You won’t believe it because I couldn’t believe it either at that time. My ask for the Time was to help me with $5.00 as I am short of that and the envelope had a cheque for $10.00.

I don’t know about you, but I was on cloud nine. It’s unbelievable that you ask for $5 and you get $10? I couldn’t believe my eyes and hence I looked at the letter that was enclosed with the cheque and it said, this is the interest of your rent deposit.

Mind Blowing!  I said, Canada I love you! Because when I went to rent this place I forgot that I had to deposit the first and last month rent and this is part of their security as they don’t know if we will give them the rent every time and on time. And look at their decency, they give you interest on the amount that we have kept with them as deposit.

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you have lost it, you can never get it back.” ~ Harvey Mackay

It was winter time and hence I just grabbed my jacket, muffler and my winter boot and rushed to catch the bus as the monthly pass allows you to travel to and fro n number of times. I deposited this cheque into my bank account and with great relief came home and slept peacefully.

The rent cheque got cleared and my bank account was with $5.00 balance in it.

I do believe time do test us sometimes but yes, this time do work with us for us sometimes too 🙂

~ Dawn

Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

Have you ever felt this way every? Where you have a lot to write and share about but when you sit to write, you are thinking which one to write first. Because there’s so much going around and mind is running at a speed to all those topics while the visuals are seen on the screen of your mind which stay for seconds and they pass on to the other.

“Absurdity is the ecstasy of intellectualism” ~ Criss Jami 

The fact is that everything is so fast and changing by seconds. We don’t even enjoy or reflect on something that has just happened to us or even experienced by us. What’s the fun in that if we don’t enjoy? If we don’t slow down to taste that feeling then what’s the worth of all our effort?


The other day I was thinking about how much I used to write letters, the handwritten Inland Letter. Yes, I remember writing letters to my aunt, my grandma, my cousins, authors, poets and my penpals. My inland letters to them used to fill in all sides meaning it has 3 pages and I remember almost every time I had more stuff to write and it used to go outside of my letter too and I used to use the space outside of sender’s address area :).
Yes, that’s how much I used to write and probably because I like to write and share my letters used to be such that everyone has expressed that they felt as if they are talking to me in person. The way I look at it today is that those days we used to reflect and think and then used to write which made lot of sense and when we think and reflect we have better ways of expressions.

“We do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience” ~ John Dewey

I remember because of my letter writing habit and skill, my Mom used to ask me to write a letter to her best friend who was our neighbor for quite sometime and then later they moved to another state in India as part of job posting. All my Mom had to tell me was you need to write a letter to my friend, and then she might share one or two points that she might have received from her friend’s letter. Based on those 2-3 points entire story was created by me and then when I read out the letter loud to her she would beam with smile and happiness. She would say this is how exactly I wanted to write to my friend and you have very well expressed that closeness in this letter and she used to be so happy.
My Mom had a weakness, when it comes to letter writing she was very lazy. I remember she was lazy in writing letters to her Mom and Sisters, hence when I started writing letters everyone connected through my letter and got the updates from our side of everyone’s well being.

“To write is human, to receive a letter : Divine” ~ Susan Lendorth

I always felt letter writing is a gift in true sense. I used to spend hours and hours for the people whom I am writing and it shows my affection and closeness for them. When the other end receives my letter they get the exact feeling and warmth that I had packed for them in that letter through my words of affection, care and companionship. I walk with them through that letter sharing my journey and making sure they are also enjoying their journey which I used to get back in their replies.


These days it’s all about emails and hence the thoughtfulness and warmth is lost. It looks very formal and business like, where instead of bringing people close the distance is getting wider. I miss those days and hence, I have decided to take this letter writing seriously and believe me whoever leaves an address to me I will write a letter to them.

My gift to you – a hand written letter where you will find a human sharing stories.

“Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene” ~ Arthur Christopher Benson

~ Dawn