Today I am going to talk about long distance relationship. Many people think it’s not good to have long distance relationship and often parents say that it won’t work out so better not have it. Many people also say that the extra distance will not make many things achievable hence don’t take things seriously.
I had a relationship that started long distance, not that it was meant to be or should I say that I never thought it will even be a relationship. The extra distance was more or less a safety kit for me and I felt being a girl that is a better option.
“Love is not finding someone to live with. It’s finding someone you can’t live without.” ~ Rafael Ortiz
I was working and I didn’t want any boyfriend headaches and keeping the extra distance will allow me to see how the person is and if I have to say no, then I don’t have to deal with him at my door step.
We started with a chat on messenger and then exchanged phone numbers and we spoke to each other on two different weekends, and I thought its good to have a friend and that’s about it.
Next day I get an email saying how I am, take care and have a great day. I also replied in similar lines and these short communication kept us going well, until the next weekend came and he proposed me on an email and then on phone.
We kept our communication clear, set the expectation as I was not only far but my time zone was also three hours ahead of his and that gave me to set the ground rules, 9:00 PM I go to sleep and if he calls me after that which is his 6:00 PM, I will not pick up the call.
If he is interested he will take out time and that’s how it happened. Our communication time was set and that was about it. Less is more.
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.”
This gave us an opportunity to know each other in whatever time we set for communication and kept us longing for each other which was really a good feeling.
I set some ground rules and expectations for each other as we both are adults and independent individuals and we don’t have to change each other unless we ourselves decide and believe me that worked well for us.
As we started knowing each other better, we planned to meet and we both came half way somewhere in between New York and thus you know what the person is when in person you meet. Some of the small gestures shows whether you care for each other or not.
I started diary writing and poetry as a kid when I was eight years old and so I asked him too to write and this really changed his life as he never thought he would be able to write but with my encouragement he started writing poetry and prose and today he has published two books and been on the San Jose poetry board – so doing things together did achieve great things on the way.
In all this we gave each other our own space and this really helped our relationship to make a goal for us and after long distance relationship of one and half years we decided to marry each other.
“One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all of your broken pieces fit back together” ~ Anonymous
So I believe wonder happens and its all about communication and how transparent you’re in your communication.
When I look at it now, my long distance relationship with my parents because they live far from me in another country but our communication and connection is so frequent and open along with our yearly trips to visit them. It’s just this pandemic that has made things difficult but our communication and video calls have kept this hopeful for each other.
“Anything is possible its all about how we do it to maintain it well and healthy.” ~ Dawn