Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart…!

Today I am going to talk about abortion. Yes, without being pregnant you cannot abort right? But I feel without understanding what is abortion? Why is abortion? and How is it done? We cannot understand even why it is there – abortion!

In India pregnancy is usually celebrated and is considered to be a blessing – why not because you got the opportunity to bring a life into this world. And hence, abortion is a taboo. 

” Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.” ~ E. B. White

Anytime you hear about abortion in India, it has to be tagged with health issue or weakness etc. But never one will come and say I did it because I don’t want the pregnancy at this time or I am not ready for it or even that it is an accidental or whatever. It’s not considered as a good thing – abortion!

Though Abortion has been legal in India for past 50 years under certain circumstances with the introduction of Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act 1971. Abortion can be performed until 24 weeks of pregnancy as per Medical Termination of Pregnancy Actamendment 2021 rules and regulations.

When we look at what is happening in USA, it is true Indian women never had to go through the struggle or march on the road for their rights.

But I feel instead of sharing the real stories that women has gone through, it has become more of a political agenda and even media writes about these in similar manner by going away from the actual topic.

“Let us make pregnancy an occasion when we appreciate our female bodies.” ~ Merete Leonhardt -Lupa

I am going to share my story here, I had my abortion at a very young age and it was not a planned pregnancy. As per doctor I have high fertility but then it was something that I had to take during a tough situation. It was not because of my health issues. 

When I was visiting in the beginning, my doctor knew how happy I was but soon I went through a trauma where my mother-in law would measure what I eat and why I eat? In fact as per doctor I got fresh coconut water to drink and when she saw the coconut shell thrown in the garbage she questioned and made a big issue out of it. I tried every way to make it work out even doctor had a one on one to discuss with my mother in-law then but it was of no use. Everything was looked at as waste of money or too much drama for a pregnant woman.

Something I visualized in my mind, if I have to go through this what the child will go through once comes out of my womb? Because I was working those days and everyone liked the money that I bring home but don’t like the attention I was getting at that time and then I was thinking about the it will be? I visualized my kid crying and I am coming home from work – that scene in my mind registered in such a way that I was not ready to bring a child at such place. I am fine to lead my battles but I don’t want my kids to suffer and that was about it. I made my decision but before that I discussed this with one of the elders in the family because I didn’t want this to be unnoticed or something to be swayed under the carpet.

“Life need not be long-lived for it to be meaningful.”

When I discussed the scenario with the elders of that family they agreed that things may turn out that way as what I visualized but they stood with me in whatever decision I took. I went to my doctor and requested for abortion. My doctor was not ready in the beginning and she tried her best to convince that things will be fine once the kid is born and I was adamant that’s what I don’t want because then I won’t be able to save the child and will suffer more.

My doctor finally said, I will only do it after looking at your blood (hemoglobin) report and luckily it was good and I got clinically aborted. After that, I was going through depression. I remember I used to often sit and cry looking at the wall. Something, that used to bring anger in me and sadness too. 

Everyone in their family were told that I was not healthy hence this happened and even my mother believed that because I was skinny though I was strong medically fit still society has their judgements – if you are healthy but skinny you’re weak, if you are unhealthy but not skinny they think you’re in right frame of life. Though my doctor knew the reality and few other members. 

“Do not muffle your cries, for they are the sound of pregnancy loss.”

I went back to work and that helped me a lot like a therapy. Today I have two kids thankfully healthy and happy and they both are planned kids. But when I think back, I have no regrets because I reached the doctor on time and yes I often think if it was the other way probably how old that kid must have been now? Or Who that kid would have been? Some things just remain within you.

“I carry your heart with me, I am never without it.”

It is very important that we should educate women about abortion, as well as sex education it is so important because knowledge is awareness and everyone can make their decision appropriately. The worldwide report shows from 2000 – 2017, the global maternal mortality ration declined by 38 percent – from 342 deaths to 211 deaths per 100,000 live births. We should bring down this percentage and education will help in doing so. 

Women are powerful and strong so why not educate them about things that relates to them and bring awareness so that they can make better decisions of their life.

Abortion should not be a political agenda, because it’s more than that.

“Education is everything – education is your power, education is your way in life for whatever you want to do.” ~ Ciara

~ Dawn


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